![]() The chefs have an hour to prepare their breakfasts, and part of their challenge is that they have to get electric cooking gear from Sur La Table to cook with. Step 3: put some Cheese on (as in the Stringcheese Incident) and turn. Josie says, "Do you know the recipe for ricotta pancakes?" and Eliza's like, "Totally. Are you kidding me? Eliza must be so chill. Lizzie is uncomfortable with Danyele because Danyele says "interwebs" and "epic fail" every other sentence, presumably, and Josie doesn't say why she doesn't get along with Eliza, but I bet it has something to do with how Eliza followed Widespread Panic on tour and made vegan sushi in the parking lot. It feels like the bad part of summer camp, and even after only a week or so together in this house it's clear how many of the chefs don't get along. The episode's icks begin when the chefs forming into teams themselves. Even a simple one-bite thing like a Starbucks cake pop usually requires me to put down butcher paper on the ground first and then put a paper towel over my mouth while I eat it so no one can see how disgusting I am. It's unclear whether you are supposed to get your hands sticky by pulling the food off first or just sticking the whole thing in your mouth and risking piercing your esophagus. Since when are things on a stick easy to eat? Things on a stick are notoriously difficult to eat. The chefs are to form teams of two and cook the vendors an easy-to-eat breakfast, one that fits on a stick. ![]() ![]() The vendors at the Pike Place Market often start work there before dawn, and we are told they work up quite an appetite. Padma introduces the contestants to Daisley Gordon, a renowned Seattle restaurateur now also renowned in my household for wearing surprisingly tight t-shirts. ![]() Newspaper was originally invented to catch fish but then they were like, "Why don't we write what happened on these here fish catchers?" And that is why the New York Times is called the Gray Lady, because all fish is gray. The chefs head to Seattle's Pike Place Market, which is famous because David from the Real World worked there and also they throw fish. Please watch it on Netflix to learn more. It's that famous Top Chef birthday curse, one put on all the contestants after Harold Dieterle ran over an old gypsy with his car and then the gypsy's daughter pointed at him and yelled, "Knife packer! Knife packer!" If you are curious, that was a really overwrought reference to the movie Thinner. He turned 40 this episode, and on his season people kept getting eliminated on or around their own birthday. Though 14 going on 30 chefs remain, Stefan feels his time has come. Because this was the episode Bravo deserves, but not the one it needs right now. The whole thing left me feeling pretty bleak about life. Padma dressed like one of the Droogs in A Clockwork Orange off-camera she probably forces Gail's eyelids open and makes her watch hours of her appearances on the Home Shopping Network. As the once chipper Stefan confronts the inevitable doom of his 40th birthday, exhausted, pale contestants cooked miserable food under the sad grey light of the overcast Seattle sky, only to be berated by Tom for their inability to turn truffled popcorn into a satisfying lunch. The fifth episode of Top Chef: Seattle felt like The Dark Knight Rises of cooking competition shows. To thoroughly enjoy the glory that is Top Chef Seattle, we welcome comedian Max Silvestri, who will be here every week to take us through the season.
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